News and views from The Backbone Collective which advocates for women and children who have experienced violence or abuse and who are enduring further harm from New Zealand's Family Court.
TRUE STORY: Backbone regularly hears from women who are accused of being mentally unwell during Family Court proceedings when they raise genuine concerns for the safety of their children while in the care of the abuser. Sometimes these women are portrayed as ‘unfit mothers’ and lose custody of their children. Here, a victim-survivor writes about the horror and heartbreak of losing her children into the full-time care of her abuser.
Read MoreTRUE STORY: One woman shares her experience of psychological abuse from her husband and the struggle she has faced to get safe. She reached out for help but no one believed her. She writes that friends, family, Police and those working in the Family Court do not understand psychological abuse and coercive control and the impact it has on victim-survivors. She hopes that more is done to improve the understanding of and response to psychological abuse so that other victim-survivors don’t go through what she has. She advocates that victim-survivors keep believing their own experiences are real and don’t give up demanding protection from abuse.
Read MoreTRUE STORY:A domestic violence survivor writes an open letter to Prime Minister Jacinda Adern to share her anguish about the way that Oranga Tamariki (New Zealand’s Statutory Care and Protection Agency) abuse, blame and devalue mothers who experience violence and abuse from a partner. She is calling for immediate system change that makes Oranga Tamariki 110% accountable for the way they work and intervene in the lives of whānau. She says “change needs to happen as swiftly as our children are removed. It's not OK! “
Read MoreTRUE STORY: A domestic violence survivor writes a letter to her young daughter - a letter her daughter will never see, but one that explains this mother’s heartbreak as she tries unsuccessfully to create a safe home for her daughter. She has endured three years of ongoing abuse from her ex-partner via the Family Court. She feels like her dreams of a new life have come crashing down at her feet.
Read MoreA U.S film documents how the family law and child protection system is failing women and children who are victim/survivors of domestic violence. The issues explored in What Doesn’t Kill Me are as real for the women and children of New Zealand as they are for those in the U.S.
Read MoreTRUE STORY: A domestic violence survivor so moved by the current collective grief and frustration about women being hurt and killed by men writes about her experience of abuse and her ongoing struggle to rebuild her life. She calls on New Zealanders to harness this collective grief, and stop normalising violence and abuse and start changing our attitudes and behaviour towards women.
Read MoreTRUE STORY: A former lawyer reflects on her personal experience of New Zealand’s Family Court after she and her children left her abusive ex-husband. Read on to find out what she experienced and why she thinks the current planned review of the Family Court will not work.
Read MoreA domestic violence survivor and Backbone member shares her open letter written to the Family Court Review Panel. While she explains how urgently changes are needed in the Family Court, she articulates her serious concern that the Review is not a safe way for women to share their experiences of the Family Court. Most particularly, the status of the Review means that all submissions are discoverable under the Official information Act (OIA) and this is likely to make survivors fearful of making submissions.
Read MoreTRUE STORY: A woman's outrage and despair at potentially having to financially reward her ex partner for his violence and abuse to her, her pets and her property throughout their relationship. Even though this man contributed nothing to their relationship except fear and violence he is seeking a huge cash payment from her via the Family Court.
Read MoreA newly-released MA Thesis on Parental Alienation which was supervised and approved by University of Otago’s Law School in New Zealand got a lot of media attention this week. It is shocking the research got any air time, given that it is based on the concept of PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) which has long been discredited in the US from where it originated.
Read MoreTRUE STORY: A mother's fight to keep her child safe cost her $40,000 and exposed an unbelievable Family Court response that she blames in part for NZ’s terrible domestic violence statistics. She shares her story here to show that the current Family Court system does NOT protect women and children after they leave violence. She is calling for a public outcry against women and children being mistreated in this way.
Read MoreIt is 20 years since Playwright Eve Ensler gave permission to artists to perform her play The Vagina Monologues. Tomorrow's benefit in Auckland on International Women's Day features a star cast, guest speakers MP Jan Logie and Dr Pani Farvid, and 'vagazelled' chocolates donated by Chocolatier Baron Hasselhoff. Organiser The Lady Corp. is donating the proceeds to The Backbone Collective.
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